Thursday, March 22, 2007

Living in colourful Alberta

Recently overheard at a conference of people in charge of our health care system

Conversation #1
Fat, balding, aging white guy in a too-tight, out-of-fashion suit: “Well, Janet, what in hell did you do to yourself?”

Woman in leg cast: “Christ, if I didn’t trip over the manure fork!”

I am not even making that up.


Conversation #2
Event host introducing a very closeted, local Olympic gold medal-winning female cyclist unwittingly says:
“And speaking of same-sex marriage, I have been having the same sex every since I got married. Har, dee, har har."

And people actually laughed.


Conversation #3
Fat, balding, aging white guy in a too-tight suit sitting next to me:
“Yah know, I have heard her talk three times already (the above mentioned Olympic gold medal-winning cyclist) and now I just want to tell her to shut up. One time okay, two times eh, three times enough already.”

Thanks so much for diminishing her accomplishment because you are bored. No wonder most Olympic athletes in Canada have to work at Home Depot to support their training.


Conversation #4
Same fat, balding white guy leaning over to me and saying: “That’s a really interesting ring you have there. There must be a story behind it. It looks old” referring to the plain silver wedding band I wear on my left hand.

Whaa?

Me, looking at him and saying very slowly: “Uh, it’s your basic everyday wedding band. It looks old because it's cheap.”

Him: “Ha, ha. So, do you have a family?”

Me, straining to be polite: “Yes.”

Him: “Uh huh. So, what does your husband do?”

Ahh, there it is. Another person assuming that I am exactly like them.

Me, not wanting to get into my personal business with him or to waste air trying to educate him on "alternative" relationships: “He’s in the oil patch.”

Clap, clap, clap. Oh, time to listen to the cyclist’s boring story of tragedy and triumph as she achieves her life-long dream. Yawn.

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