A point to ponder

So, despite signage, despite numerous pleas from the receptionist, some of my coworkers still continue to put their dirty dishes on the counter in the office kitchen instead of in the dishwasher conveniently located just below it (!).

And I am thinking, if people can't even do a simple task like that when asked, how can we expect them to get out and vote in the soon-to-be-announced federal election?

It's been quite a morning already

So it's 8 a.m. on a Friday morning and I am sitting at my desk trying to get my heart beat back to its regular rate.

I have a message for a particular SUV driver I inadvertently met today:

"WTF were you thinking? Your need to get to the coffee shop 2.5 seconds faster than the bus I was riding in - you know, the one you tried to cut off? - nearly caused me a heart attack.

In case you didn't realize it, our bus driver had to nail her brakes when you did that.

Do you know what happens when a bus suddenly stops short? Yeah, that's right. Everyone inside of it goes flying. Like the woman carrying her infant in a snuggly and her little 2-year-old girl who fortunately landed on the floor without getting seriously hurt. And the old lady who was until that moment standing at the front. And the three women who were also previously sitting at the front.

Ask me how much fun it was to witness a pile of people getting thrown together on the floor because of your stupidity? And maybe ask the bus driver if her underwear is clean now. Thank God no one was seriously hurt."

My opposites

Although my kids are twins, they are as different as McCain and Obama. We have always jokingly called them our opposites.

This fact was never more clear than when we started talking about the extracurricular lessons and activities they would like to do this fall. Keep in mind they are 5.

Boy child would like to take a cooking class or dance. Girl child would like to learn to fly helicopters.

And before you ask, no, they are not identical twins as some people shockingly ask me. That would have something to do with the fact that one is a girl and one is a boy...

And did you know?

All these years I thought the words to the song Raise a Little Hell were, well, Raise a Little Hell. Turns out the words are actually Raise a Little Owl, so says boy child.

Living with a 5 year-old Y chromosome

Things I never thought I'd say or hear:

"Make sure ALL the pee goes in the toilet."

"Mama, look what my penis can do."
"Wow, Honey, I had no idea it could bend/stretch/roll into a ball, etc. that way."

The colours of my rainbow

Alberta, where I live, is known for its colours - wide open blue skies, waves of yellow canola fields, and flaming rednecks. Now the land that I love also wants to be known for another colour - green.

The powers that be announced last week that they want to use a chunk of the BILLIONS they have earned in the last year from pillaging the Earth of oil on green initiatives.

How's that?

The folks that brought us the Alberta tar sands - a vast wasteland of tailing ponds (i.e. simmering pools of chemicals) and devastated agricultural and forest land - want to spray a little verdancy on the massive mountains of dead dirt?

Isn't that kind of like painting on your eyebrows after you've plucked them out? It's just not quite like the original, baby.

Kindergartner non sequitars

It's volcanic vinegar (balsamic vinegar)

It's a hole-in-tell (hotel)

It's cigaretting (smoking)

It's gunning (shooting)